


Anime Night Survival Guide

by Smokeycut



Series: The Harperverse [2]
Category: Batman - Fandom
Genre: F/F, Fluff, I gave a name to Cullen's unnamed boyfriend from the comics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 22:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10055735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Smokeycut/pseuds/Smokeycut
Summary: Harper Row attempts to chronicle her final hours before she's forced to take part in her little brother's dreaded anime night. (Sequel to How To Woo A Girl In 10 Easy Steps)





	

"This is Harper Row's log. The date is January 5th. The time, 6:16 PM. Tonight, something awful lurks just outside my bedroom door. I've barricaded Cassie and myself inside, but our food supply is running dangerously low. It should only last us the next two hours, if we ration it properly." I look at Cass, who is holding the last of our food. She's sitting on my bed, eyeing me curiously as I talk into my phone. "Side note: Cassie looks amazing. Great survival look. I love the green skirt, hon." She smiles and blows a kiss my way, then peeks into the bag of rations. 

"Harper. Sun chips are gone." Cassie turns the bag upside down, and not even a single crumb falls out. Her fingers, however, are covered in them. And now she's licking the crumbs off of them. "Should get more."

There's a knock on the door, followed by Cullen's voice. "Harper, just come on out. Mark and I ordered a pizza, you guys can have some."

"Never! We aren't going to let hunger wear us down, Cullen. We'll stay in here all weekend if we have to."

"Harper, it's just anime night. C'mon, we're watching some good ones, you might even like them if you give them a try. Most of them are gay." Dumb jerk knows my weakness. Still, I won't be deterred.

"Cullen, we will never give in! Nothing you say or do will make us open this door and watch pervy Japanese cartoons." I punctuate my point by throwing a pen at the door, then look back at Cassie. Cassie is gone. Cassie is opening the door. 

"Sorry. Hungry," she apologizes before walking out and closing the door behind her. 

"Damn you, Cullen! Damn you to hell! How could you make my own girlfriend betray me?!"

"I mean, it wasn't _hard_. C'mon, Cassie, let's get you some food and show you the wonderful world of Naruto."

"I don't know what that is."

"You'll like it, there's a lot of fighting and ninjas."

Fine then. I don't need them. I can have fun in my room. I have wires and wire cutters and uh... a phone with way too many tabs of porn. An empty bag of sun ships. A mirror. Makeup. I only miss cuddling Cassie a lot, and I ate yesterday, so I'm... not fine. I need food and I need girlfriend contact. Friggin' dumb jerk and his dumb Japanese cartoons and his dumb food seducing Cass. 

I open my door slowly, careful not to make a sound. I sneak my way into the kitchen, and spy on them from behind the counter. Cullen and Mark are curled up on the couch, and Cass is sitting in the recliner I _strategically acquired_ from Mr. Abernathy's apartment last year. She has a plate of pizza in her lap, and the pizza box... 

Is on the coffee table, right in front of Cullen. _Fuck_. Hunger is kicking my ass, so I give up and walk over to them. I grab a slice and curl up with Cass in the recliner, and she shifts around so she's half sitting on my lap, then nuzzles me. I wrap my arms around her and just hold her like that while she eats and watches Naruto or whatever. It's pretty easy to drown it out, so it just becomes background noise while I cuddle Cass and eat dinner. Thankfully, Cullen doesn't say anything about me joining them. He's too busy leaning on his boyfriend and making comments about the show's ending being disappointing and _oh good god why am I listening to him talk about anime?!_

And if this isn't bad enough, Cassie is actually getting into it. She's asking questions. She has a favorite character. She's humming along to the ending music. She's humming along to the intro music for the second episode. I swear to Batman, if he actually makes her like anime...

I zone out halfway through the second episode and slip into a minor pizza coma. When I come to, the pizza is half gone and Cullen is telling Cassie about the next show. Something something squid people, something something fish puns, something something beach comedy. Cass seems to like it again, and this time I actually pay some attention. This is... _really_ stupid. But not in a bad way, and that's worrying. Very, very worrying. Maybe it's because the main character has blue hair, maybe it's because all the fish puns are melting my brain, or maybe it's because the style is admittedly kind of cute, but I don't completely hate it. Cullen keeps this one going longer than the last show, and I think it's because he thinks he has me hooked. He's partly right, but he doesn't need to know that, so I try tuning it out and go back to focusing on Cass. I kiss her neck, but she's not too responsive, and seems to be sucked into the show. I pull out my phone and start texting Steph, but the shouting from the tv, combined with the laughter from Cullen, Cass and Mark are making it hard not to pay attention to the show.

We stop around episode 5 and take a break. It's 10pm, and Cass is getting cuddly. She's trying to scarf down another two pieces of three cheese pizza while nestling into me, and it's all kinds of cute. I stroke her hair gently and just watch her while Cullen and Mark whisper to each other in the kitchen about what to watch next. Why are they whispering? Whispering means they have something to hide. This is bad. Then all of a sudden they stop, and Cullen calls over to us.

"Hey, Xena and Gabrielle, which do you guys wanna watch next? Lesbian sword fighting or gay ice skating?" Gee, Cullen, I'm not sure. I think I'd rather take a triple dose of fear toxin and spend the rest of my night dealing with the resulting hallucinations. 

"Swords," Cass decides for us. Cullen puts it on, but I don't pay much attention. I see some gangly girl with pink hair out of the corner of my eye and hear annoying voices and weird music, but my focus is on the girl nestling into me and wrapping her arms around me, wiping her mouth on my flannel shirt. A glance over at Cullen lets me see that he's got some mixed feelings. The smirk shows he's happy that Cass and I are enjoying ourselves, but I can definitely tell he's annoyed he wasn't able to make me into a fan. I glance back at Cass and hold her tighter. She starts dozing off as the show goes on, occasionally stirring to try and pay attention to the tv, but around 11:30 she gives up and kisses my cheek. "Night," she whispers before resting her head against my chest and closing her eyes. I hold her gently, stroking her hair and smiling to myself. Tonight isn't so bad, I guess. I could sit through another anime night as long as I have her with me. Though I'm a bit worried she's gonna buy a body pillow now. This is Harper's log, signing off. The date is January 5th, the time is 11:39 PM. I survived anime night.


End file.
